I just saw a hot homeless man
i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
You know how most people would take your keys when they don't want you to leave a party? Those 2 girls aren't most people. They took my pants instead.
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
Randomize
