Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
I'm way too drunk on a Sunday to handle this level of Jesus.
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
Boobs are out for the taking
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
Guy fieri is speaking only to me. We make eye contact. My whole body is vibrating. My head is purring. I am literally marbles.
Someone stole a lamp last night.
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
Randomize
