Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
just got super drunk mixing jägermeister with my lyme disease meds. even if my face goes paralyzed, at least i got smashed from it.
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
turns out that the cat the james was trying to catch was a raccoon. call me when you get this, i need an ER buddy
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
Randomize
