Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
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Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
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Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
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