my dad came in to wish me a happy birthday and found me passed out in my underwear with the lights on and a plate of meat on the bed. i bet he was proud to have contributed to my creation in that moment.
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
Randomize
