he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
Last night he asked the cab driver "if you were in the middle of getting tattooed and the tattoo artist suddenly got a boner would you leave or would you get that boner??"
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
It says a lot about the way my life is going right now that 'there's no shit in your house' is fucking good news.
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
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