I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
I am not sure which is more amazing; The fact that she offered me sex, beer AND nachos, or that she can properly use a semi-colon at her current blood alcohol level.
Having to grow a landing strip to cover the bruises from pole dancing. Thanks for the birthday present, but next time, maybe just a gift card?
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
Randomize
