it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
i just had sex bonerless
Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
Bro I can't jerk it to my phone anymore. I feel Siri staring back, and she's real disappointed.
I need to stop drinking and eating and start working out. I look like the lovechild of John Goodman and Jabba the Hutt.
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
Randomize
