We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
I just opened my filing cabinet at work for the first time in months. It looks just like my pantry: nothing but peanut butter and whiskey.
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
So the same great-aunt that told me to freeze my eggs for procreation just told me that I should strut around the dance floor b/c I'd get picked up.
I need to meet your family.
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
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