We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
Randomize
