she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
I'm sorry I didn't get you anything for your birthday
It's just you didn't get me the fucking bear suit last year
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
Randomize