I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
Remember when you picked me up from my walk of shame with a bike, I came out wearing a Ninja Turtle costume and you let me ride the pegs to thoroughly display the embarassment
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
Randomize
