Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
I told her I had to go to work this morning, got fully dressed in a suit, walked her out, drove around the block, parked, and walked right back in my apt and went back to sleep..
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
Rooting for you and your team in the Beer Olympics this afternoon...! Love you, Mom
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
My ex-fiancee UPS-ed me a sixer of tall boys, and a fifth of bourbon for christmas, from halfway across the country. What does this mean?
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
Randomize
