I wannas sexs uuuuu
I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
We just set the fire alarm off with a fog machine. What's my first instinct? Finish my drink. I think I handled that correctly.
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
Randomize
