yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
Hey, um, after thinking about it, I decided I really don't want to use applying olive oil to your ass for your fissure as part of foreplay because... well... really? Just read that again.
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
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