He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
Guy in the room next to us in the ER is chanting "I'm jeff and I'm drunk". He's trying to get released to finish tailgating for the Iowa game that starts in 9 hours.
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
Randomize
