I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
I have enough bourbon in me to put Justin's cat in the dishwasher.
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
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