I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
Driving to get a preg test with my ex, wearing my unicorn hat
You are so not ready for motherhood
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
Two women at the Safeway just got out of their separate cars and kissed. One was driving an outback, the other a CRV. It was like a Honda and Subaru had a lesbian joint venture and filmed the commercial in front of me.
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
The ass gains better be worth it
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