my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
Randomize
