she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
i just walked into thanksgiving and three people in a row asked me who i was. really?
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
Randomize
