You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
remember about an hour ago when i told you i was never drinking again? i may or may not be mixing malibu with caprisun. just saying.
I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
I tried to order dominos and couldn't but I accidentally placed an order for this morning. I knew I did it last night and was gonna call and cancel this morning but honestly it's coming in 30 minutes and I need it
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
Randomize
