She said her name was "party"
I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
Just blew my age on the breathalyzer. I also have 8 stitches in my head. So worth a .22 though. All time record.
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
I learned a valuable lesson about combining day drinking with malt liquor: you may think you have super powers, but that's just the Steel Reserve talking.
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
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