what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
got in a fight at the bar because some dude thought i was being sarcastic when i told him "sweet mustache". it really was a sweet mustache
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
An there's a little girl across the bar eating Mac n cheese... #1 she won't stop looking at me. Boo bitch I'm drinking alone. #2 I'm about to tackle her ass for that Mac n cheese.
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
My wife just tried to justify to me why she wants to bring a girl into bed with us. I should win an academy award for my face and response of 'well of its what you need.'
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
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