It wouldn't matter if you are Jesus Christ himself, you are not getting into the bar tonight
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
Randomize
