is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
I have been standing totally still for the past 6 minutes because I was convinced my foot was tied to the ground. It turns out it was a string of hair strewn across my foot
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
Randomize
