Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
i upgraded from drunk texts to drunk e-mails...real world here i come
I'm going to buy you a pony but under one condition: you have to name it sarah jessika parker
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
I think my nap took me to another dimension
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is this like a preordered booty call?
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
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