I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
I woke up to a bunch of college seniors jacking off a horse in my face. Geuss who didnt move in time?
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
Randomize
