shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
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When I start carrying a bottle in my hand, jumping from boat to boat with a grenade horn. YOU should know this isn't going to turn out well.
Everyone already knows you're a drunk, they understand.
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
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I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
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