possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
you left a paper here that says 'to do list' but it looks like you just wrote "drink a bunch of cough syrup and watch Who's the Boss" like 60 times
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
I had tater tots and weed with a stripper at 4am who compared the size of my boob to her head because fuck you my life rocks
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
Randomize
