why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
Randomize
