just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
My mom gave me a high five when I told her I was just using him for sex
You and your mom would make an amazing tag team
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
Randomize
