if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
My new dentist just kinda stared at me when I told him that I used to have partial dentures after breaking 2 teeth while beating the shit out of someone, until I puked them into the toilet and flushed them after getting high and making myself undercooked mac and cheese.
Randomize
