on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I asked her why she was drunkenly masturbating to Iron Man and all she replied was "Robert Downey Jr". As far as excuses go, that seemed pretty legit.
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
Randomize