i barfeds in our rink
We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
what the fuck. my fiance told me she called our wedding band last night and told them to perform "best i ever had" for our first dance
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
I just remembered I made you punch yourself in the face last night and I would like to formally apologize for that even though it was hilarious.
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
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