you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
Well my unnaturally hairy chest finally came in handy. It took at least an hour to shave the american flag into my chest but I definitely went America all over that party
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
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