I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
Randomize
