He told me i was the nicest person he's ever arrested for DUI
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
My drunk body wants to fuck you so bad, but my high mind is telling me it's too much work. I think I'm just gonna stay home and eat some Mac and cheese. Sorry.
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
I will pee on everything he values.
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
Fuuuuuck dude, he’s got #Excel in his Facebook bio; I’m screaming
Randomize
