at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
Have you ever woken up and said a thank you prayer to the beer gods for allowing you to wake up in the morning and still have the ability to walk and talk? Because we should.
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
I have a number of responses, ranging in content, tone, and maturity. Choose your destiny...
Randomize
