My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
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i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
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