could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
and this is why I hate my dad. He got 25x more angry with me when I wanted to drive a different route then he suggested to get to his house (more scenic- thus more enjoyable) then he did when I told him I was driving drunk with 4 people in the car and I got my 5th speeding ticket last night.
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
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Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
He was jealous of me and threatened by me. I'm like, just cause I could fuck your girlfriend doesn't mean I'm going to
She's not even my type. She doesn't have a penis or a drug problem
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
tell me about the fingering
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