Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
Got promoted and on my way out the door was informed that my beard makes my face perfect for riding. Today is gonna be a good day.
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
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