Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
Randomize
