If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
I woke up with $100 in my pocket and I was so excited until I found an atm receipt for a $500 withdrawal. Not as exciting.
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
Randomize
