Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
I'm doing a half mile walk of shame carrying a trash bag and still very drunk. Save me. I feel like a refugee.
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
Just saw the cop you hooked up with over break. He’s def hotter in uniform.
Tell him to stop shaving his pubes. #Notmyjam
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
Randomize
