we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
Shit. We're going to have to drink until they're cute
Hello cirrhosis
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
I’m not spending 14 dollars on a margarita unless it’s rimmed with cocaine... actually do you have a blender?
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
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