I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
I just offered a homeless man a meal from McDonald's, and he replied "I don't eat McDonald's food". That is the epitome of "begger's can't be choosers."
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
... drunk me broke the coffee table?
STOP TALKING ABOUT YOURSELF IN THE THIRD PERSON. YOU DID THE THING.
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
So apparently I fell asleep sitting on the toilet last night while my drunk girlfriend sang to me.
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