either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
Being pregnant is so damn inconvenient for my sex life.
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
You should just skip the small talk from now on and instead say something like "You need to come slay the dragon, be here in 15?"
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
Randomize
