The girls stopped by my apartment. They caught me naked with a nearly empty bottle of vodka in one hand, drawing crop circles in the carpet with the vacuum.
Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
I am a mess. Weirdest thing: I woke up with a hammer under my pillow. No idea why.
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
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