there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
you spent the rest of the night making a recipe for mixed drink called "the new years bowel remover". it has 13 parts but judging from the bold all caps, the boiled avocado is the most important
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
Apparent my drunk ass was so dedicated to taking a piss, when I walked across the dance floor to get to the bathroom a 9/10 broad tried to dance with me and I just pushed her aside, like hard enough to send her a few feet from where she was standing, pointed at her and said "Not now chief, gotta rock a mean one."
Randomize
