I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
If its not for food we ain't going out.
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
Dude I can't beleive you didn't wake up. I literally f'd her IN THE DISHWASHER. Btw I'm pretty sure I also kinda broke the dishwasher.
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