Buhtt sex?
I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize
