so i was pissing and the phone rang but i forgot i was pissing so i just ran to answer the phone. it was too late when i realized
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
You need a new phone. When you talk it sounds like the teacher from Peanuts while she's trying to give a blowjob.
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
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