thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
Seriously, you can't give someone's wife an orgasm on the dance floor of a gay nightclub and then hang out with her husband the following week
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
My phone autocorrects "pooping" to "popping" and I'm like DO YOU EVEN KNOW ME??!
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
Randomize
