just heard the best thing ever: calling people's kids "fuck trophies"
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
Let me just inform you of my purse contents right now. Three cum rags, a sock full of cum, xanax, and a fake moustache. This is my life.
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
Randomize
