Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
FYI the landlord called and plumbers will be tearing up the bathroom tomorrow. Apparently the tub is leaking into the apt below us so be sure to pee in the shower today.
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
How is there no taco emoji?! That's some bullshit.
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
I love Texas men! TSA agent found my vibrator, nodded approvingly, and said, “You have a nice night, ma’am” with a cowboy accent. I almost made out with him on the spot
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