I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
I know I'm drunk but why am I receiving this handjob through the pant leg of my shorts..?
Randomize
