he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
Randomize
