Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
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