Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
So it turns out my dad calls his penis "John" which means he either named me after his penis or his penis after me
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
I just had sex on a roof
Right now I'm drinking out of a gallon water jug & eating a baconator. If you're feeling down, just remember you could be me.
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
You don't know being judged until its 7:30 in the morning and you're on 2 hours of sleep halfway between drunk and hungover wearing pajama pants at an international airport while saying how proud you are that you found the airport's bar immediately and how disappointed you are that it's closed
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
Randomize
