I was in the bathroom and heard my brother scream "YOU FAIL!!!", and I swear to GOD, I thought my penis was yelling at me.
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
i will never coherently bang her
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
I need a hoe opinion
go on
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
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