The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
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