That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
Today is all about not throwing up, where the fuck are my keys and does anyone know what happened to that guy in the panda suit my roommate had sex with last night.
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
Just try not to have a boner when you're giving your best man speech, it will really kill the vibe
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
Randomize
