it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
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