I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
Drunk me wrote a bucket list last night. #4 is "hate fuck a childhood enemy". Can we make this happen?
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
I think God is sending me all these 20 year olds to make up for wasting my 20's in that crappy ass marriage. Thanks Big Guy!
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
Randomize
