you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
MAGGIE IS ON MY COUCH PETTING AN HONEST TO CHRIST ARMADILLO AND SOBBING INTO HOT CHOCHOLATE. WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO TO HER.
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
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