Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
What happened last night?
You soiled yourself again and told everybody that you'd given birth.
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
The little girl I'm babysitting is having a tea party, the water and chips she's passing out are doing wonders for my hangover.
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
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