just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
Hey, it was your idea to keep her occupied with the barscanner on your phone.
you didnt need to give her a fucking sharpie. there are handmade barcodes everywhere. including my cock. fucker.
I think I am calling out of work due to a hangover. I'm 96% sure there ISN'T tampon stuck inside me.
Shit. I'm running the whole hotel right now. The front desk girl had to run home because she left her vibrator on the counter and her brother, mom, and grandmother surprised her and are showing up to her place before she gets off work. This will end badly no matter what.
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
Randomize
