when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
I put an asterick after the names of people in my phone that I've fucked. Both as a form of bragging, and also so I can actually remember all their names.
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
Randomize
